Raving mad and somewhat slightly dazed

The newest pokemon game came out yesterday. Miiiine. It is shiny and awesome.

I have a goat and a murdersquid. I am pleased.

I have two days off, which'll be nice. I'm going on a tour of place tomorrow, which I'm kind of terrified about. I mean. It's just a tour. But i'll have to drive there and while I found it today I'm still nervous.

It's at an automation place. Kind of intriguing.

I've done a little bit of writing. I'm mostly just kind of exhausted right now. Friday was awful - period started and hit me worse than ever, plus a migraine, plus two quizzes. No idea how I did on either of them.

...I'm pretty sure there are other things I had to say but I have no idea what any of them were.

This was one of those weeks.


Three tests in two days. One of which immediately after a career fair where I talked to seven companies in the span of an hour.

I failed that one. Apparently the class average was 60. I was a 49. But she's offering extra credit, so. Planning on taking advantage of that.

Working on a project. Am behind on it. Club president gave me funny looks for that, as if he has oodles of free time.

I keep meaning to post the next chapter of that kh thing. but haven't had the energy to do much editing. the inside of my head feels hollow.

...think that's all I've got.

This is that picture I was working on.

Scans never work out as well as the original, but oh well.

She didn't have any eyes in the line art, so I obviously decided that she was a hell beast wearing human form. The red eyes were inevitable.

Line art is from some generic princess coloring book, color and background are mine.

( Her poor boy was never seen again )

First things first: this week was long and awful. Period started, homework kicked my ass, and sleep occasionally didn't happen. Though that last part was kind of my own fault, as I have a love-hate relationship with horror stories.

One day I'll learn, but apparently not yet.

I finished coloring a picture. I just haven't scanned it yet. it worked out well, I think. Used the horrible line art to my advantage. The lovely princess managed to not have any eyes drawn in. So I of course assumed she was a hell beast assuming human form and gave her red eyes. Will scan it...later. When I haul my scanner out.

The capstone of this week was yesterday. I had volunteered to help with the opening of the new engineering lab building, not really knowing what that implied. It lasted longer than anticipated. I got there at one and we were finished a bit after four. I showed up, got my tshirt, and managed to put it on backwards. One of my professors talked to me for five minutes without telling me I'd done so. (Thanks, prof.) 

After I fixed that, I was basically a booth babe. I hung around the machines and explained what some of them did - lathes to be exact - and made conversation. Was briefly interviewed for the student paper. Talked to random people about the building, which is admittedly pretty snazzy, and classmates who wandered by. Managed to not make complete fool out of self.

Then as I was leaving, one of the tents for the event, which apparently hadn't been tied down... caught the wind, and went flying.

Into someone's car.

I thought "oh, well, shit, I should probably see if I can free that car," so I did.

The person who owned the car was close behind me, so we managed to get the tent off. And he discovered that his car had been scratched up, as that is what happens when it gets attacked by carnivorous tents. (Though the tent got the worst of it, with some of its supports sheered in half.) Then we hung out considering what to do, because fuck if he was going to pay for fixing his car. So we called security to file a claim, and I stuck around as a "yeah this totally happened" witness.

So that was exciting.

And then I was tired and grumpy and overheated, and glooped around in my room for a while. Relaxation was aided with a cup of tea with some pear vodka mixed in, and I set to writing. Only managed a bit, and then got distracted.

Then, after a while, I realized what I had started doing. Being slightly drunk is nice, relaxing and letting me forget the pressure I feel sometimes. A brief period of time when nothing matters, and it's incredibly tempting.

It is also a dumb fucking idea. 

I have way too many alcoholics in my family and too much familiarity with my own brain to want to go down that path. Catching myself thinking that alcohol is a release, or a way to write, or even a way to help me sleep - I don't want to go there.

I poured out the rest of the bottle, and I'm not going to be buying more.

So, this week in summary: miserable with good decisions made anyway.

wonder if I can make posts a weekly thing. might be interesting.

So I've had a week of class. Seems to be going well so far. Most of my profs I've had before. My adviser is still nice, favorite lunatic prof is still a lunatic (engineering and opened class with french classical music. twice.) One prof I haven't had before is my calculus prof, and he's an adorable tiny enthusiastic Asian man. He does not bounce but it is a near thing.

Am trying to be friendly and outgoing this time around, with like, roommates and things. I normally hermit myself away and only do the normal "hi bye" things, but this lot seem friendly and aren't weirded out by me yet, so. I have an instinctual "everyone will hate me" response, and I'm testing that out by actually giving them a chance to like me.

I'm also joining clubs on campus. Though I will fully admit that's more a "shit, need to pad out my resume" response than any friendliness. Though I am interested in meeting other engineers.

On that note, have sent my resume to several places. No bites yet. Am trying to not feel like it's a judgement on my worth as a person.

Thanks to the mess of last week, I'm actually looking into local therapists. I've reached the "shit, I am not dealing with this am I" point, and acknowledged that I might need outside help. (Thank you, to everyone who encouraged me to do so.) I've found one that's promising. Apparently deals with gay and lesbian issues, which I am hoping means inclusion and not conversion therapy.

Still working on short story. Will probably post it when I've finished the first draft.

I've got about a week between summer classes and fall classes, so, I'm spending it at home.

Currently cleaning the shit out of everything, as is traditional for arriving home. Plus my room needs organized.

Started work on an original story, think I'll post it here later. It's interesting. Might be able to sell it.

Aaaand I'm melted. Back to cleaning!

I am about to put in an application for an internship with one of the energy companies in the area. I might actually get a job in my field.

*crosses fingers* 

EDIT: I actually put in two resumes for different companies. Nice thing about the engineering department here is that they send out emails about internships and openings.

Because I'm cleaning out my flash drive and deciding half finished things are finished, actually.

Footprints in the Snow
Kuroshitsuji
Spoilers for Circus Arc

Ciel doesn't visit gravestones often.


( Except when it matters. )
I have a whole collection of half finished stories for this fandom that can all be subtitled "I have a lot of feelings about the circus okay".

90/100.

Let the gleeful squeaking commence.

So I realized that I never threw pictures of my dogs at you all. And with me being away for summer school, it's the perfect time to break out my folder of dog pictures!

I have two dogs.

( DOGS )