Raving mad and somewhat slightly dazed

And in the conintuuing saga of “why I am not out at work”….

So Coworkers and I were talking. Half the department was gone for the holiday, so it was quiet. Somehow they started talking about Gay Marriage.
Apparently, no one actually cares about gay marriage! It’s just that gay people try to force their opinions on people and don’t tolerate anyone else, so that makes people angry! SERIOUS ACCEPTANCE.

I just sort of blinked, said “…right then” and walked away from the conversation. Because there’s zero protection for queer folks in my state, so I have no idea if being out would fuck over my career or not. It certainly might destroy my references.There’s nothing I can say to defend myself.

And then I hyperventilated at my desk for about twenty minutes. 

First reaction was this: 

…so, at my new job.

In the Engineering department, where I work, there is a men’s bathroom is 12 feet from my desk.

The only women’s bathroom, on other hand, is down a flight of stairs. Next to the secretaries and hr.

Well then.


with the tag "is this what they call institutionalized sexism"

edmondia responded, " Yes it is. Perhaps this should be pointed out to people."

My mother, who for the record is far more conservative than I, described it as “presumptive” which I thought was a nice polite way of putting it.

She also advised me that perhaps I shouldn’t bring it up my first week on the job, which while irritating is kind of valid. There’s no point in raising the issue when I’ll just be ignored. I will bring it up, once i’ve built up some credibility.

hahahaha so today.

manager (male) and coworker (female, one of three on the floor) were chatting in the cubicle next to mine. manager was telling a story. story went like this:

His girlfriend didn’t like that he went out without telling her, so she called the police and said that he beat her. he then said, and I quote, “and police always believe the woman, especially in a small town.” then female coworker replied that yeah, she hated girls who did that and went on to talk about a guy she knew that couldn’t have beat his girlfriend, because he was so nice.

and then my brain made the record scratch noise and  i put my headphones so I didn’t have to listen any more.

 

An aside on white privilege: it took me three minutes to notice there were three girls in the office. it took me three days to realize that everybody was white.




nothing quite that awful has happened since, but there's still a pervasive aura of it

 

I am about to put in an application for an internship with one of the energy companies in the area. I might actually get a job in my field.

*crosses fingers* 

EDIT: I actually put in two resumes for different companies. Nice thing about the engineering department here is that they send out emails about internships and openings.