I think the anticipation for the new semester is starting to get to me - the stress, the staring at the ceiling until four a.m. because I can't sleep for nerves. Oversleeping because I don't want to face the new day. Not wanting to sleep because my dreams are vivid and gripping and leave me confused as to which bits were dream and which bits were memory. Going around with a headache because the images in my dreams refuse to get out of my head. Wondering if I'm starting to slip towards losing it again - wondering if normal people have stray thoughts about whether or not their pets have been replaced by android spies, if other people feel like the inside of their head is full of fog.
It's been a weird day, if you haven't noticed. I get into these moods, sometimes - when feels like sanity is a little weaker - when I start wondering if I'm not just hallucinating everything, dreaming while standing up. I can usually defeat it with logic - but I worry for the day when logic isn't enough. It's a delicate balance, keeping myself insulated from the world enough to be able to stand it at all (Watch me in a crowded store without my headphones sometime. I twitch.) and yet not so removed that I forget about reality, so removed that the world is gone.
My brainmeats are complicated.
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