On wandering and the purposes thereof
Aug. 21st, 2011 09:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
splinteredstarI wandered around campus for a while, since it wasn't as hot out in the evenings. I tend to do that a lot - it's something friends have commented on, even. I'm starting to think that it's something I have to do in order to feel comfortable somewhere - put my feet on it, own the space somehow.
It's a territory thing, I guess. Or something like it. I have to... reassert my own presence on the place, reassert the fact that yes, I belong here, yes, I'm allowed in. If I haven't been somewhere in a while I can feel it, and if I can't wander about I get nervous, twitchy, feeling like everyone can tell I'm an outsider. It's easier here at college, a place I know so well, a place I have no reason to feel rejected from. Besides, I still like to wander.
It's easier to think when I'm walking. Some of my best times - the times I'm most comfortable - are when I'm wandering with no purpose, muttering under my breath about whatever fool thing pops in my head or whatever story I'm caught in at the moment.
It'll be nice when it's cooler. I'll be able to walk more.
It's a territory thing, I guess. Or something like it. I have to... reassert my own presence on the place, reassert the fact that yes, I belong here, yes, I'm allowed in. If I haven't been somewhere in a while I can feel it, and if I can't wander about I get nervous, twitchy, feeling like everyone can tell I'm an outsider. It's easier here at college, a place I know so well, a place I have no reason to feel rejected from. Besides, I still like to wander.
It's easier to think when I'm walking. Some of my best times - the times I'm most comfortable - are when I'm wandering with no purpose, muttering under my breath about whatever fool thing pops in my head or whatever story I'm caught in at the moment.
It'll be nice when it's cooler. I'll be able to walk more.
