This isn't wise

I think I'm going to do NaNo this year.

I know, this isn't smart. Not during my first semester of college. Not when I'll be studying for exams. Not when I'm still adjusting to the social change. I'm probably going to either fail or burn out.

But I want to do it. I really want to, but I'm afraid. Which makes me want to do it even more. It's like Yuki from Fruit Baskets joining the Student Council. I want do to it *because* I'm afraid.

Fuck you, Fear.

I'm not doing this purely to conquer my fear, mind you. This year...maybe it's the mind-opening of college. Maybe it's the way I've been pushing myself this year. But I really want to do NaNo this year, and if I don't I'll feel like I'm chickening out.

I even know what idea I'll be using. Either EMET (sort of Jewish Mythology - steampunk mashup) or possibly Freecloud (which is me stringing old David Bowie songs into a story) I'll spend all of October organizing my thoughts, and hopefully I'll be ready. (And yes, flist, you'll get to listen to all my rambling if if you want.)

It's not wise, and it won't be easy.

But I'm going to do it anyway.