splinteredstar | That Death Note fic... (Reply)

Okay, here's that fic. I rather like it, actually. It's a lot better now. *nods* I'm sure there are things wrong with it, but oh well. If you have suggestions, tell me please.

Title: Spirit

Rating: PG13 to be safe

Pairing: Mild L/Light

Spoilers: Whole Series. L's name, Birthday, and series end in particular.

It amused L that he, the skeptic, the doubter, the perfect blasphemer, would be one of the few ones that could escape the nothingness and exist after death, that he who did not believe in any afterlife would one of the few who had one.

It amused him even more when he found out that part of the reason he could was because of something out of his control, something insignificant, a holiday he didn’t recognize and barely remembered. His birthday.

After all, there were always special…privileges granted to children born on Halloween night.

There were other reasons, of course – as nonsensical and sentimental and illogical the spiritual world seemed to be, even it needed more to explain the presence of a human soul that would not fade. L eventually decided that his strong will had something to do with it – he simply would not allow himself to dissolve, so he didn’t.

There were also mentions of a psychic bond to Earth, but L ignored most of that – he was always the skeptic, and there was no reason to believe in such things, regardless of his own spiritual state.

So he existed, but there wasn’t really anywhere for him to exist in, so he spent most of his time on Earth. After all, people were always interesting to watch, and Light – Kira – the most interesting of all. L had to admire the way the boy – man now, but still childish and possessive and jealous – orchestrated his fake investigation, how he managed to string everyone along for four years – four, far too long and Near is being too slow, he should be better than that – and how lied to everyone he saw about everything he knew, just as much as L did, maybe even a little more.

It’s easier to appreciate an actor when you’re not in the play. And appreciate L did, this amazing reflection-copy of his, this person who was like him in everything and nothing and saw through his disguises as easily as L saw through his.

You can’t meet your perfect mirror-match and not be fascinated. L always was and he knew Light was too.

L went down to meet him on Earth only once, one Halloween – one of the traditional nights of the dead, his birthday - when Misa was out on a special tour. L would never forget how Light had stared at him, shocked and scared – it felt so good to see that look on Kira’s face – and hungry for something that worried – scared – them both.

Light had stared at him for a moment, before saying in a forced calm that L saw through so easily Light may as well have not bothered,

“You kept the handcuffs.”

L had, the silver cuff remaining on his wrist no matter what he did. He had heard that ghosts looked as they did at the moment they died, but he hadn’t had the cuffs on when he died so that didn’t make sense – but it was the spiritual world, so perhaps that was to be expected. The chain fell from the cuff, slipping to the floor before fading into invisibility halfway down.

He looked at Light, wide-eyed and with an expression that would have been innocence on anyone but him. He said simply,

“So did you.”

L knew he had, tucked away in a box he never opened but couldn’t throw away – and he had tried. Those cuffs were the physical – or spiritual, in L’s case – tribute to the time they symbolized, the time when Light was simply Light and L was Ryuuzaki and they could, just for a few disjointed moments, be friends – even if they never were again. It was a time they both discounted – L called it a miscalculation and observation, Light-Kira a strategic loss and biding his time – but neither could forget or let go of those cuffs, binding then body to body and now soul to soul stronger than they could break.

Perhaps that’s what was meant by psychic bond. That amused L too, that he would be bound to Earth by something of his own creation.

Light looked away for a moment, hiding his eyes – ashamed? worried? or was it another act? – but then looked back, biting his lip but never leaving L’s eyes again.

After that, no words were spoken or needed that night as they crushed together as they never had when L was alive. It was soft and slippery – though never lacking an undercurrent of rage that flowed between them both - and L wasn’t entirely sure how he could enjoy something that much without a body.

Another ‘privilege’, he supposed.

In between moments and not-breaths, L had half-seen the glint of silver from Light’s wrist to match his own, and if he hadn’t been entirely too busy at the time to look, he knew he would have seen chain links falling from the cuff to met his own.

Light had almost – not quite – breathed out, “Ryuuzaki…” at the end, and L had to smile, almost whispering back for him to call him “Lawliet”, but he decided that Light - Kira -didn’t deserve to use his real name.

The next morning, L watched as Light testily washed his sheets, muttering about how he hadn’t had a dream like that since Junior High, and L smiled again.

Light didn’t see him again until he was dying, and really that was no surprise, because dying men always were more sensitive to spirits. That had to be it, because L was always near by. He would never leave his favorite suspect, after all.

L smiled, proud and victorious as he saw Light – Kira – reduced to pleading and babbling. He was ridiculously proud of his heirs, because however long it took and however inelegant and messy it was, they won and reduced Kira to this, this fear-drunk panic and repeating, over and over,

“I don’t want to die.”

The only way it would have felt better would be if he had done it himself, but he supposed that Near was close enough.

As Light was dying, L held his hand out to receive his spirit – Light was much too stubborn to let himself dissolve into nothingness, and L wouldn’t let him if he weren’t – just because you were unmasked and killed doesn’t mean I’m done playing with you Yagami-kun, so please don’t look so surprised – and L pulled him up.

No words were said, until Light hoarsely – silly, his voice wasn’t from his body now, it sounded however he wanted it to reflect how he felt – asked,

“How? After death there is nothingness. No exceptions.”

L only smiled a smile he knew would infuriate Light, because it always did – that arrogant and condescending and I know more than you and always will smile - and said,

“You’ll never know.”

I'm thinking of adding another scene or two at the end, but I like this ending, so...Yeah. Will have to think about that.