Shameless self indulgence
May. 20th, 2013 02:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
splinteredstareventually you look up at it and say, "FUCK YOU, I'M WRITING ABOUT BUNNIES."
It was finals week, and I wrote this thing. It is fluffy and adorable and ridiculous. I'm not sure I respect myself as an author any more. Also, the characterization is questionable at times. (Sephi is hard.)
I haven't edited it, but I did cut out the most painfully saccharine lines. Untitled.
Final fantasy 7, pregame. possibly pre-CC. Featuring shameless use of adorable small child, and bunnies.
When Sephiroth was approximately seven years old (his exact age in a file he never saw) he snuck away from the techs towards one of the cages of test animals. He heard shuffling from inside; shuffling and soft whispery breaths. He peeked over the edge curiously.
Inside was something small and white and fluffy, with long ears. A rabbit, he roughly identified from his schooling. He wanted to touch it. It looked soft.
The tiny red-eyed thing looked up at him, and screamed.
He stumbled back, the sound ringing in his sensitive ears – but every other animal in the lab was suddenly staring at him, screeching, birds and mice and a tech hauled him out of the room, looking the door behind them.
Hojo yelled at him, accusing, but he hadn’t done anything, hadn’t even touched – and then there were fast conversations above him – he caught “instincts” and “mako” and then there were tests, seeing how close he could get before an animal reacted.
He grew used to the sight of lab animals crawling over each other to avoid him – when he was older and allowed outside, he would see people’s dogs raising their hackles at him or pulling their owners away, cats hissing or hiding underneath cars.
When he was integrated into SOLDIER, he found many other soldiers suffered from the same – “I had that dog for years,” one complained after his first injections, “an’ I come back and he tries to bite me!” – but none, not even Genesis or Angeal, caused as strong a reaction as he. (Genesis was close. That almost, but not quite, helped.)
The chocobos were all specially trained, and PR knew better than to organize photo shoots with animals, no matter how much some of them wanted to.
He didn’t quite forget, but he put it out of his mind. He was a monster, leaving a swath of fear behind him – why should animals think differently?
~
“Remind me again,” Genesis drawled in an undertone, “Why we are at a hospital?”
Angeal frowned at him. “Some of the children wanted to meet real SOLDIERS.”
“Photos.” Sephiroth said simply, making Genesis snort under his breath. Angeal frowned at him too, but didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t like he was wrong. They were hardly in the front door and they’d been stopped for photos twice.
Their guide, a middle-aged nurse whose name tag said “Kate”, shot the camera crew a brittle smile. “I’m sorry, but due to the sensitivity of the equipment and patient confidentially, no cameras are allowed past this point.”
The PR woman – young, blonde and pretty, lipstick and nail polish bright – blinked as if a lamppost had started singing. “But, we have to get pictures.”
The nurse frowned sympathetically, though there was a trace of amusement behind her eyes. “I’m afraid you will have to get all of your photos outside.”
It didn’t matter who or where you were – you did what the nurses told you. The camera crew left in a huff. Sephiroth smothered a smile when he saw Genesis mouth, “Thank the goddess.”
Genesis appreciated image more than most, but even he tired of the cameras every once in a while…or at least the people behind them.
The smile the nurse gave them was much more true, highlighting the smile lines around her eyes. “Likewise, if you gentlemen could turn off your phses?” Sephiroth hesitated – she sent him a sympathetic look. “I realize it’s a security risk, but the transmissions damage our equipment. “
The three of them would be able to handle any threats. “Of course, I understand.” He turned off his phone, but kept it close by. Genesis and Angeal did the same.
“I’d hate to risk any harm,” Angeal said, and sounded like he meant it. She smiled at him, and turned to lead them forward.
Genesis got as far as “Well you’re a charmer-“ before Angeal discreetly stepped on his foot. Sephiroth smothered another smile.
The nurse led them down a hallway, towards a large double door. “Through here,” she began, pride evident in her voice, “we have one of our therapy areas. They are of course somewhat artificial, but the natural environment helps the children relax.”
Sephiroth was not looking forward to this. He was no good with children – so small, so fragile, such adoration in their eyes. The door swung open before him, and at first the change in light blinded his sensitive eyes. Otherwise, he would have backed away immediately.
“And as you can see, we have a number of therapy animals-“
-he hardly noticed her voice, because his eyes had adjusted –
A small, boy with pale skin sat on fake grass, a tiny white ball of fuzz on his lap. The boy looked up, wonder sparkling in his eyes – the rabbited locked eyes with Sephiroth.
And screamed.
It bolted from the shocked boy’s arms, making him tumble over backwards. Its cry was taken up by all the animals – a cacophony of screams and hissing cats and the harsh barking of a dog as it hauled on its handler. But the rabbits were the loudest, or at least Sephiroth heard them the clearest.
-sometimes he heard the sound in his nightmares, but only sometimes –
His jaw tightened as all the animals fled – the cats climbing a scraggly tree, a dog huddled in a corner, and all the rabbits dashed into a hutch of cabinets – their dens, presumably. The noise died down, but for the growls of the dog and a child, crying.
The nurse was at their side in an instant as a younger assistant helped the child. “I’m sorry, I don’t know, they’ve never-“
“It’s the mako,” Genesis interrupted, his face twisted. Sephiroth just felt numb. “Animals react badly to it.” Blue eyes flickered to a particularly fluffy cat, something in his expression oddly… wistful. “If we’d known you were going to try this, we would have warned you.”
Sephiroth stepped back towards the door. His jaw ached but he didn’t relax it. The boy looked up at him, innocent confusion in his eyes.
“….why’d the bunny run away?”
As numb as he was, something in his stomach twisted. But Sephiroth didn’t know how to tell comforting lies. “It was afraid of me.” He knew instantly that it was the wrong thing to say, the child looking down sadly, but didn’t know what else to say. He shuffled away, closer to where Angeal was apologizing.
“-I really am sorry, usually they know not to schedule it this way.” Genesis stood off to the side, his expression twisted, still staring at a fluffy white cat. His fingers twitched, once, and Sephiroth narrowed his eyes – field signal? No, just reflex.
Something in his expression was odd, like when he ate dumbapples sometimes, or when Angeal got letters from home – some emotion Sephiroth knew would not be admitted or acknowledged.
For once, when Genesis met his eyes, Sephiroth saw almost a touch of empathy, then it was buried again. They were about to leave, for the sake of the animals – then, the child let out a cry – alarm? Sephiroth turned – no, that was –
The child was smiling. Sephiroth didn’t understand – did they distract the child somehow? – then he realized that Genesis was staring, stock still, not breathing – Sephiroth followed his line of sight, down –
Then he stopped. And stared.
In the grass, dark brown against artificial green, there was a small lump. The rabbit met his gaze, its nose twitching, and then hopped closer to him. Sephiroth stared as the tiny brown creature came up to him, totally without fear. He felt the irrational urge to step back, unsure of how to react. He resisted.
The bunny reached him, and sniffed at his boot. It looked up at him expectantly, but for what he had no idea. It looked soft, he noticed distantly.
Why wasn’t it running away?
The child was suddenly close, too close, but Sephiroth didn’t turn to him. “See, she’s not afraid!” The child smiled up at him. “She wants you to pet her.”
At that Sephiroth glanced at the boy in shock, but then the rabbit its – her? – front paws onto his boot.
“Come here, she’s really soft!” The boy knelt down next to him and then patted the ground. Sephiroth blinked, and then glanced back at Genesis and Angeal, hoping for some clue on how to act. Angeal was smiling, gesturing for him to sit down; Genesis stared with that expression Sephiroth couldn’t begin to read. The nurse was beaming. Sephiroth ignored her.
Stiffly, Sephiroth knelt on the artificial grass, careful to avoid landing on the creature. The child’s smile was blinding.
“My name’s Ven,” The child said, as he stroked the rabbit’s ears. “Her name is Anna.”
Briefly glancing at the boy, he replied, “My name is Sephiroth.” The rabbit was still staring at him, even as her ears twitched under Ven’s hands.
“I know. I’ve seen you on tv.” Sephiroth braced himself for the outpouring of adoration and questions, but the only one that came was, “Will you take your gloves off? She’s really soft.”
The boy picked up the rabbit, but only to hold her out for Sephiroth to take. She seemed content with this man-handling, her nose twitching. Sephiroth hesitated, and then pulled his right glove off. Slowly, he reached forward, not to take hold of the creature. But he did, gently, run his fingers over her nose, then over her ears.
She was soft. He stroked a little more firmly, unable to believe; but she was soft and warm and her breath puffed against his palm when he lifted it away.
Suddenly Sephiroth found his lap full of rabbit. He blinked as the child deposited Anna on him, barely keeping from flinching back. The child and rabbit paid his reaction no mind. “She likes to be held!” The boy chirped happily.
Sephiroth stared down at Anna, at this tiny, fragile, helpless creature, unafraid of him, like he wasn’t a monster, like he wasn’t capable of snapping her without thought.
He pressed his fingertips to her back, feeling along her skin and her spine, muscles shifting beneath his touch. He swallowed.
“No, you pet her like this!” The child reached for his hand – Sephiroth jerked it away, barely stopping himself from breaking his wrist. But the child wasn’t reaching for his hand – instead going to stroke the rabbit’s nose gently. “See?”
Bemused, Sephiroth copied the movement, petting the rabbit’s nose with one finger. There seemed to be a soft vibration, unrelated to her heartbeat. Odd.
“…I see.” He finally said, fascinated by the way the soft vibration was in time with the petting. “….they don’t normally let me get this close.” He confessed quietly, stroking a bit more solidly.
“Oh,” was all the boy said. They sat in silence for a moment, petting the rabbit quietly. The sound of shuffling to his side – Sephiroth looked up to see Genesis edging closer to the particularly fluffy cat he was looking at earlier.
The cat hissed at him, inching back, arching its back in threat. Genesis flinched back, barely visible, and turned away. His face twisted, frown etched deep. He met Sephiroth’s eyes, and in an instant his expression dropped, twisted into distain and mockery.
Genesis was a mystery most times, but this, at least, Sephiroth thought he understood. He looked down at Anna, peaceful and trusting.
He never got to keep the good things, after all.
He looked back up, seeking and finally catching Genesis’ eyes. His gloved hand twitched in a seeminly casual movement – a field signal, roughly translating to “resource cache,” and then another, “rendezvous”.
Genesis stared at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then it shifted, and then again, one unknown feeling warring with another. Sephiroth said nothing, but uncovered the rabbit quietly. Anna perked up, one ear flipping up as she peered at Genesis.
Genesis swallowed, once, and then slowly stepped closer, not quite meeting Sephiroth’s eyes again. Finally he knelt down gracefully, opposite Sephiroth on the artificial grass. Anna sniffed at his gloved hand, her ears forward, and then nudged it with her nose. Genesis blinked, lightning quick, and then pulled one glove off. He petted with more confidence, something like wonder tucked in his expression. Sephiroth wasn’t sure why, but he liked that expression, liked being the one to have put it there.
Ven, for his part, smiled like every good day was happening at once.
“Her name is Anna,” Sephiroth murmured, shifting to allow Genesis better access. Genesis nodded in acknowledgement. Behind them he could hear Angeal talking in whispered conversation with the nurse. He ignored it. Anna settled herself between them, almost half on each of their knees. Ven sat back, a bright smile still on his face.
It couldn’t last, but for now it was them, a soft and warm creature curled up unafraid between them; the sunshine above them and grass underneath that almost could feel real; and then Angeal, smiling, settled onto the grass next to them, scratching Anna’s ears gently.
It was quiet and warm, and Sephiroth smiled to himself, glancing up to see matching smiles on his best friends’ faces.
It couldn’t last. It never did. Something came in, wondering at the delay – they were soon shushed into silence, but it was enough. The moment was over. Sephiroth and Genesis both looked up, and the gentleness was shoved behind a public face. But there was that streak of emotion in Genesis’ eyes again, covered quickly as he looked away to tug his glove back.
Sephiroth didn’t comment. Anna ended up in his lap again, so he picked her up – gentle, so gentle, she was so fragile- lifted her up and held her out to Ven.
“You take care of her, all right?” Angeal patted the boy on the shoulder as he took the bunny. The boy nodded, as serious as any cadet receiving their first mission.
Kate stepped up apologetically as they shuffled to their feet. “I’m very sorry, but…”
“No, I understand.” Angeal and the nurse shared a quick, conspiratorial smile. Sephiroth suddenly wondered what they had been talking about, and he and Genesis shared a curious look. “Thank you for letting us. Shall we?”
Behind them, the rabbit shuffled in Ven’s arms – looking back, Sephiroth saw Anna climbing up out of Ven’s arms, her ears forward, staring at their departure. His lips twitched down, just for a moment, before he turned away.
No, it was never going to last. Best to cut it off now. “Let us.” He concurred, and walked away to continue the tour. He signed casts and shook hands, and if he caught Genesis looking back once or twice, he didn’t comment.
They left in a cloud of camera flashes and the whispered conversation between Angeal and the nurse. Sephiroth caught, “Maybe, I’ll talk to her-“ and “No, of course, but I couldn’t help but,” before the photographer shouted to look this way, please, and are there any cuter kids?
Back to normal life.
~
Three days later and Sehpiroth knew that something was Up. Angeal and Genesis had been whispering to each other excitedly – which really wasn’t unusual, on its own. They were close, closer to each other than he was to them. Usually that didn’t bother him.
But when Genesis dragged him out of their shared suite for a “surprise”…. That was a clue.
“He wasn’t going to tell me either,” Genesis said conversationally while they sat in the cafeteria because he decided he was hungry. “But he can’t keep secrets from me. And besides,” Genesis grinned brightly as he speared some meat on his fork, “He needed my help.”
Sephiroth sipped his water. “Are you planning on taking me there, or are we going to eat miscellaneous meat all afternoon?”
The barb had no effect. Genesis just smiled and checked his phone. “A bit more – no, wait, it’s ready.” He rose from his seat with a flourish. “No more ShinRa special today. Follow me.”
Sephiroth did so, and grew increasingly suspicious.“…we’re going back to the apartment.”
Genesis smiled. “Yes we are.”
“…is there actually a surprise, or did you want to drag me across the building.” He asked flatly. He had long since grown tired of Genesis’ sometimes cruel sense of humor.
Genesis huffed as though offended. “Don’t be silly. I just needed to get you out of the apartment for a bit. And here we are!”
Sephiroth stared at the door to their suite suspiciously. “…if there is a party…” there would be blood.
“At this time of day?” Genesis scoffed and went in, calling, “We’re here!”
Sephiroth sighed, and followed. There were no signs of a party, just Angeal smiling on the couch, and in his arms –
Sephiroth stopped. And stared. His lips twitched, some unknown emotion flooding him, something warm and chokingly sweet. He swallowed, and met Angeal’s eyes. His old friend shrugged gently.
“I did some negotiating.” He smiled softly, and patted the seat next to him, careful not to drop his precious burden. “Come here.”
His throat strangely choked, Sephiroth settled onto the couch. His heart leapt, and he smiled in wonder as Anna hopped happily into his lap.
.
When Sephiroth was on a mission, Genesis watched Anna, pampering her and sneaking her treats that Sephiroth always knew about anyway.
When Genesis left and didn’t return. Angeal took care of her.
When Angeal left, Zack stepped in with a sad smile.
When the mission to Neibelheim was announced, Zack called up his best friend and said quickly, “Hey, Knus, you know anything about rabbits?”
And when the results of the mission broke, Kunsel stared down at the ball of fluff in his lap. He pet her nose, his jaw tight as she glanced towards the door again.
He swallowed, and picked her up, leaning her against his chest. “Looks like it’s just you and me now, fuzzball.” She nuzzled his neck and he held her, staring at the debriefing spread open on the table.
And now I'm going to go write something with Drama and Intrigue and Nothing adorable what so ever.
