I haz a meme.

[splinteredstar]

Swiped from speaky_bean 

Give me a pairing and I shall tell you the following:

1. What they most commonly do during sex
2. Who has prettier hair
3. What they argue about most often
4. Who'd cope best if the other one died
5. The happiest plausible happily-ever-after I can think of for them.

I think y'all know my fandoms...

Comments

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

Hee. <3 What about, for pure self-indulgence's sake, girl!Light and L?

[starsplinter.livejournal.com]

*contemplates*

1. "....if you put that in there I'll get a yeast infection." "There are treatments for that." "....put. The lolipop. DOWN." There is also much arrangement of L's limbs and shushing her because if they get caught it's Totally L's Fault.

2. Light, obviously. L has crumbs and possibly small woodland aminals living in hers.

3. Justice and Kira and how no, Light does not need to eat more sugar she is on a perfectly healthy diet thank you very much, unlike some strange freaks of nature she could name. Also, the fact that she gets ice cream stains in awkward spots now.

4. L. She'd be upset but not terribly, because Light Probably Deserved It, but Light would be kind of heartbroken, because the shiniest thing she's ever seen is *gone* now. Of course it matters *why* each of them died - Light would be able to handle L dying at her hands much better than a freak car accident or something. If Light killed L she might be okay with it, because L is still her enemy and even if she doesn't like to think about the game ending any ending other than victory is Not On.

5. In all variations of this pairing I'm still always kind of amazed when double-suicide (or murder-suicide) is one of the less depressing possible ends. But... Hm. Generally for these two I go with Light deciding that Killing Everything isn't the most efficient way, and works with L - who obviously isn't letting Walking Weapon of Mass Destruction Light out of sight. Or they might just shoot each other and die in each other's arms.

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

HARHARHAR.

Yes, double-murder-suicide is about as happy as it gets for them.

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

Also, re: #1

"Well that's... less horrifying."

"So Light-kun will consent."

"Light-kun will not."

"She will."

"The bed is already a disaster area without adding chocolate syrup to the mix."

"Who said anything about the bed?"

"...continue..."

[starsplinter.livejournal.com]

*giggles for about five minutes*

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

Theirs is a sticky love, ohohoho.

"...how did you get so much of it in my hair?!"

"I would have thought that was obvious, Light-kun...?"

"MY OTHER HAIR."

[starsplinter.livejournal.com]

"...you are so helping me wash this out."

"Oh, certainly Light-kun. *innocent smile* Join me in the shower?"

"....actually no I'll do it myself. NO YOU CANNOT WATCH."

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

"Don't be foolish, Light-kun, I always watch. My cameras are everywhere."

"WE ARE ERASING ALL THE TAPES."

"The tapes are evidence, Light-kun."

"ALL OF THEM."

[starsplinter.livejournal.com]

I feel like this pairing could be accurately described as, "L is a pervert and Light is Perpetually Appalled."

"I believe that... Mastuda-san is on surveliance duty today."

"....how high would the percentage be if I tried to strangle you?"

"23%. And it went up to 5% because you asked."

"...I hate you."

"5.2 %, Yagami-kun."

[edmondia.livejournal.com]

Only in this bizarrely happy crack au, I think, as CP canon!L is asexual... but would pull this shit for lulz, so maybe it's not that au.

"I hate you and I'm never letting you do that again."

"6.8%."

"You're just making those numbers up."

"Perhaps. You're now at 27.2%."

"And if I did let you do that again?"

"27.8% for trying to seduce your way out of your obvious guilt."