That DN fic draft...

[splinteredstar]

Yeah, this is that fic I talked about last post. This is the very first draft, and thus probably doesn't make a lot of sense. I fixed a few things as I was typing, but  not much. I switch tenses a few times, but the parts in past tense don't sound good in present, and the parts in present don't sound good in past. I don't know what to do...

Anyway. The draft.

Title: I have no idea.

Rating: PG13 to be safe

Pairing: Mild L/Light

Spoilers: Whole series, L's name, birthday, and series end in particular

Warnings: Slash, first draft, probably doesn't make much sense, odd style.

What happens when Star's Muses are up late

(start)

It amused L that he, the skeptic, the doubter, the perfect blasphemer, would be one of the few ones that could escape the nothingness and exist after death.

 

It amused him even more when he found out that part of the reason he could was because of something out of his control, something insignificant, a holiday he didn’t recognize and barely remembered. His birthday.

 

After all, there were always special…privileges granted to children born on Halloween night.

 

So he existed, but there wasn’t really anywhere for him to exist in, so he spent most of his time on Earth. After all, people were always interesting to watch, and Light – Kira – the most interesting of all. L had to admire the way the boy – man now, but still childish and possessive and jealous – orchestrated his fake investigation, how he managed to string everyone along for four years – four, far too long and Near is being too slow, he should be better than that – and how lies to everyone he sees about everything he knows.

 

It’s easier to appreciate an actor when you’re not in the play. And appreciate L does, this amazing reflection-copy of his, this person who was like him in everything and nothing and saw through his disguises as easily as L saw through his.

 

You can’t meet your perfect match and reflection and not be fascinated. L always was and he knew Light was too.

 

L went down to meet him on Earth only once, one Halloween when Misa was out. L would never forget how Light had stared at him, shocked and scared – it felt so good to see that look on Kira’s face – and hungry for something that worried – scared – them both.

 

No words were spoken or needed that night as they crushed together as they never had when L was alive. It was soft and slippery and he wasn’t entirely sure how he could enjoy something that much without a body.

 

Another ‘privilege’ he supposed.

 

Light had almost – not quite – breathed out, “Ryuuzaki…” at the end, and L had to smile, almost whispering back for him to call him “Lawliet”, but he decided that Kira didn’t deserve to use his real name.

 

The next morning, L watched as Light testily washed his sheets, muttering about how he hadn’t had a dream like that since Junior High, and L smiled again.

 

Light didn’t see him again until he was dying, and really that was no surprise, because dying men always had a sensitivity to spirits.

 

L smiled, proud and victorious as he saw Light – Kira – reduced to pleading and babbling. He’s ridiculously proud of his heirs, because however long it took and however inelegant and messy it was, they won and reduced Kira to this.

 

The only way it would have felt better would be if he had done it himself, but Near was close enough.

 

As Light was dying, L held his hand out to receive his spirit – Light is much too stubborn to dissolve into nothingness, and L wouldn’t let him if he weren’t – just because you were unmasked and killed doesn’t mean I’m done playing with you Yagami-Kun, so please don’t look so surprised – and L pulled him up.

 

No words were said, until Light hoarsely – silly, his voice isn’t from his body now, it sounds however he wants it to – asked,

 

“How? After death there is nothingness.”

 

L only smiled a smile he knew would infuriate Light, because it always did, and said,

 

“You’ll never know.”

 (end)

So yes. Point out what doesn't make sense and possibly how to fix the tense problem. (I wouldn't mind...) I'll edit it and post a better version.. later. Sometime.

Comments

[nenya85.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't know the characters, but it kept my interest, mainly because I really liked the way it played with existance and nothingness. I also liked the dry and almost-but-not-quite detachment of the narrator.

[starsplinter.livejournal.com]

*grins* Thanks. The fact that it's interesting even to people unfamiliar with the characters is flattering. The series itself deals a bit with nothingness, even if the main theme has more to do with justice.

I'm glad the narrator worked well, because that's almost exactly how L actually sounds. (I've used the expression "brusque politeness" before) I'm glad it came across clearly.


Thanks!


Star