splinteredstar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
splinteredstar) wrote2015-02-13 04:47 pm
splinteredstar) wrote2015-02-13 04:47 pm
Entry tags:
this is for me to sort out my thoughts
Well, I'm trying again with a new therapist.
On the one hand, she's easier to deal with as a person. Understanding about depression, understanding about anxiety, actually knows about things like feminism and such.
On the other, she may have struck one of my sore points today.
Now, as many of you are aware, I Like the Internet. I think it's one of the greatest things that humanity has ever invented. Certainly one of the most important. The relationships I've built through various internet contexts are some of my most precious. (I love all of you)
And today, she gave me the task of socializing with someone. Anyone. But she said it had to be face-to-face. Internet doesn't count.
I understand the importance of getting out of my comfort zone. But the way she talked about it.... it bothered me. Like internet relationships aren't really socialization - it has to be face to face in order to count.
And I don't like that. I don't like feeling like the means I'm most comfortable communicating are invalid. I don't like feeling like the relationships I've developed are invalid. I don't like feeling like I'm going to have to lose them, or that there's something wrong with me for preferring them.
Maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe I shouldn't prefer digital relationships. I just feel /awful/ now, in turns combative and pathetic, and I don't think that's how therapy is supposed to make me feel.
I don't know.
On the one hand, she's easier to deal with as a person. Understanding about depression, understanding about anxiety, actually knows about things like feminism and such.
On the other, she may have struck one of my sore points today.
Now, as many of you are aware, I Like the Internet. I think it's one of the greatest things that humanity has ever invented. Certainly one of the most important. The relationships I've built through various internet contexts are some of my most precious. (I love all of you)
And today, she gave me the task of socializing with someone. Anyone. But she said it had to be face-to-face. Internet doesn't count.
I understand the importance of getting out of my comfort zone. But the way she talked about it.... it bothered me. Like internet relationships aren't really socialization - it has to be face to face in order to count.
And I don't like that. I don't like feeling like the means I'm most comfortable communicating are invalid. I don't like feeling like the relationships I've developed are invalid. I don't like feeling like I'm going to have to lose them, or that there's something wrong with me for preferring them.
Maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe I shouldn't prefer digital relationships. I just feel /awful/ now, in turns combative and pathetic, and I don't think that's how therapy is supposed to make me feel.
I don't know.