splinteredstar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
splinteredstar) wrote2016-02-29 08:06 pm
splinteredstar) wrote2016-02-29 08:06 pm
Entry tags:
more ranting
It's just.
A lot of the whole "why do you care about (character x) you should identify with (character y) instead" is just. It hits me in just the /wrong/ spot.
I have spent half of my life trying to make myself feel something other than what I feel. To try and make myself have the "right" emotional reactions, to care about the "right" things. To feel the way people around me think I should automatically, because the only reason I wouldn't feel that way is because I was broken. (Or Sinful. Or Unenlightened. Or because of some sort of social force. Same thing from different directions.) Or better yet, I don't actually feel that way, I've just been convinced that I do because of Corruption.
My emotional reactions are not valid. My feelings are wrong. If I were Normal, I wouldn't be feeling the way I do. I wouldn't care about the things I do, wouldn't identify with who I do.
And I'm fucking sick of it. I have the emotional reactions I have. And yes, those reactions should be analyzed and inspected. Trust me, I do that /anyway/. But there is a /very large difference/ between analyzing and shaming - between looking at the reasons for reactions and saying that people shouldn't be allowed to have them.
(Should all emotions be expressed publicly? No. Should everyone analyze their emotions and themselves? Yes. Should we shame people for the feelings they have? No, fuck off.)
A lot of the whole "why do you care about (character x) you should identify with (character y) instead" is just. It hits me in just the /wrong/ spot.
I have spent half of my life trying to make myself feel something other than what I feel. To try and make myself have the "right" emotional reactions, to care about the "right" things. To feel the way people around me think I should automatically, because the only reason I wouldn't feel that way is because I was broken. (Or Sinful. Or Unenlightened. Or because of some sort of social force. Same thing from different directions.) Or better yet, I don't actually feel that way, I've just been convinced that I do because of Corruption.
My emotional reactions are not valid. My feelings are wrong. If I were Normal, I wouldn't be feeling the way I do. I wouldn't care about the things I do, wouldn't identify with who I do.
And I'm fucking sick of it. I have the emotional reactions I have. And yes, those reactions should be analyzed and inspected. Trust me, I do that /anyway/. But there is a /very large difference/ between analyzing and shaming - between looking at the reasons for reactions and saying that people shouldn't be allowed to have them.
(Should all emotions be expressed publicly? No. Should everyone analyze their emotions and themselves? Yes. Should we shame people for the feelings they have? No, fuck off.)