splinteredstar: (Sebastian)
I think I'm going to come out to my dad. 

He's the only one in the family that doesn't know. I want to tell him, before someone else does - I think, if he feels like we've been keeping it a secret and he finds out from someone else.... that'd be a hell of a betrayal, you know? But how am I supposed to do this? 

And - okay. I'm, in general, against the whole thing of coming out announcements and parties and shit. They annoy me, on principle. I don't have cancer, I'm not getting married, and I'm not moving away. Why the fuck should I make a big deal? Why should I attach a disclaimer to my own existence? 

But. Family's different, I guess. Sooner rather than later, you know? Not sure how to bring it up, not sure what he'll do. I'm kind of nervous, but... it's like all the Other Stuff in my brain has shut up and I just have this steel arrow of, yes, this is what I need to do. 

I'll tell you how it goes. 
splinteredstar: (Kimbley)
If only briefly.

I just finished a collection of s&m short stories a sub I know recced to me.

I spent the last couple of hours ranting about the butch/femme paradigm that I don't fucking fit on, how rape fantasies fucking terrify me as a dominant, why I'm terrified to be a dominant because some people think it means abuser and I don't want to go that way , how Stockholm's syndrome is not healthy, love, or s&m and it's fucking annoying and terrifying to see it presented as such, and just generally having a psycho-sexual meltdown. ([livejournal.com profile] saint_archie , the wonderful and amazing person he is, got to witness most of this., and helped me through the ranting.)

I'm pretty sure that was not the intention of either the book or the recommendation.

Fucking hell. Sex is too fucking complicated.

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